Grateful

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So I know in my last blog post about my Fangirl life, I shared my plan to post tonight about Game of Thrones. But my heart is not in it for talking about something so silly tonight. But fear not – there is always V for Valar Morghulis where I can geek out over the books and the show. ūüôā

So where is my heart tonight? It’s with a little girl named Alexah and her family. I don’t know her or her family but have been getting updates every day for the last week or so about what they are going through. You can read about Alexah, her condition, previous treatments here as well as how you can donate to Team Alexah.

The last 10 days have been extremely difficult for Alexah and her family. This unexpected hospital stay has been a roller coaster of events, infections and treatments I can’t even pronounce or understand half the time. It is so heartbreaking to read about, I cannot even imagine having to experience it.

So this post, for me, has to be about being grateful. I am so grateful for my three boys. We get busy and they act like crazies and I lose my temper and we get distracted by other things and well, that is our life. I hear about stories like Alexah’s though and it makes me wanna rush home from work and give all three of my little loons the biggest hugs. The hugs my oldest son has decided he is too cool for now. The hugs that you want to put all your love into and all of your hope that they never have to fight a battle like Alexah’s. The hugs that can’t possibly make the fear that something bad could happen to them go away, but let you hold them to you while you pray that they stay safe and healthy.

Hearing about Alexah’s battles reminds me to be grateful. I need to be grateful that I have been blessed with three happy, healthy, crazy and cool little boys. I need to be grateful for all the time I have with them. And I need to sign off for tonight and spend some more time with them.

I leave you with the quote below I always think of from American Beauty for some reason (narrated by Kevin Spacey who is amazing and fangirl inspiring himself). While I don’t feel like I have a stupid little life – I can’t help but be grateful for every single moment.

If you are reading this hopefully you can say prayers or send thoughts or love to Alexah and her family. I am sure they could use it right now.

Hugs to all.

Lester Burnham: [narrating] I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time… For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars… And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street… Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper… And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird… And Janie… And Janie… And… Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.

The Longest Short Day Ever

How can a¬†day seem so long, but also feel way too short?¬† There’s just so much to do!¬†

This new year I have made myself a lot of goals.¬† This blog and writing every day have been some of my biggest goals. Returning to the writer’s group and perhaps joining a few other groups¬†is another.¬†

Unrelated to writing, I’ve also put some health goals down as well,¬†including a new commitment with my mom and my sister to walk at least 2 miles a day at least 3 days a week.¬† They are going to London and to Paris in a few months and need to get in walking shape for all their grand adventures.¬†¬†While I am ridiculously jealous of the trip (Oh my goodness, London!), I am happy to share their¬†commitment.¬†

So I’ve begun walking almost every night.¬†¬†¬†I’ve managed to find a way to maximize that time however.¬† I¬†am using my treadmill time to catch up on episodes of Sherlock (with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin¬†Freeman going all around London).¬† Alas this will be the closest I get to London for awhile.¬† It sure is fun though!

I must say with my writing, blogging and walking goals, I’m finding it difficult to cram all of that into my already full life.¬† I work a full time job that comes with a very¬†long commute and then have a busy family life.¬† Lately I’m finding that I wish I had about two or three more hours to do all the things I want, but then am also finding that I am more than ready to call it a day.¬† It seems an odd juxtaposition.¬†

Despite the feeling of not having enough time, I start each new day excited about the goals I’ve set, the direction I am heading because of them and I do my best to be grateful for every moment of this busy life.